This is the view from where we used to live, it was like living in the heaven's and kinda suited my post for today :)
I have been trying to put time into my days to try and learn to meditate.
This is the biggest joke for anyone that knows me my mind just won't turn off.. oh yeah even when sleeping I am thinking about stuff, but having a notepad to write stuff down on has helped heaps.
So, as my usual self I do lots of research on the internet about "how to meditate" and everyone says different things... oh wow.. now I am regretting the time when I was at some new age fair that a little Indian lady would literally try and drag me in to the meditate class every time we walked past.. oh yes I mean grab my arm.
I suppose it is really annoying to write this way as I hate people that jump around on different tangents, but a quick reason why I would not go in is because I was afraid.
You see when I go to bed when I am really tired and actually relaxed, I close my eyes and I see things flying at me, different images, but too fast to work out what they are, I even hear voices sometimes, but when that happens I wake up and get the hell out of the room.
My husband laughs at me when I do this and I laugh it off too but it is scary...
So hence I did not want to go into that state on purpose in a room with all other people incase something did happen.
So I don't know what changed, other than the stupid numbers and things hounding me all the time, I guess sometimes something just changes and you think "I have to do this".. so I am trying...
I don't know what a meditative state should feel like so I am assuming that have not been in one.
I have been trying different things like concentrating on my breath, counting down with every exhale, and concentrating on an object or person, sometimes I get the butterfly's in my tummy like you do when you are very excited (you know the sexy excited) and a couple of times I have felt in that "just before dream" state which I get when I am tired, though I still can't slow the images down to see what they.
I thought I would start keeping a little record of things that I have experienced so when looked back on or read later might make a little sense.
For the first couple of times I kept getting the name Edna in my head, this was when I was asking if I could take to Mushka (my kitty) and also when I was asking the name of my guide...
Me, being me, is just putting it down to thinking what I want to think, but I do not know any Edna's though the name is sooooo familiar.
So I looked the meaning up in my little book, which I just felt I had to do; and it said:
Edna-Hebrew: 'ednah. "rejuvenation" One who knew the secret of renewal or transformation.
That's when I thought.. ooohh spooky! And maybe wondered if It was not just my imagination.. who knows...
Then last night I was seeing faces, but they were all like giants and I was tiny so I could only see small parts at once, but it was not sped up like all other things I usually see.
Just before I "woke up" I was standing at the base of one of these giants and they were wearing like a tunic of the softest woven cotton and it was blowing and touching my face...
It probably is all just imagination but at least it is here for prosperity, something to look back on if I ever get this meditating thing working.
I have noticed though that I have been getting headaches and stiffness in the base of my head and top of my spine, maybe I am sitting the wrong way or trying too hard...
